Growth Mentality

ANNOUNCEMENT: Parenting Classes & Workshops

 

Nicoline Ambe now offers parenting classes and workshops in the Carson, Los Angeles and Compton areas. These classes are designed for parents of children ages 0-15 years old.

The goal is to teach parents effective skills to help their children become inner-driven, academically successful and take charge of their lives.

 

WORKSHOPS

The topic of the workshop is: "How to Grow Your Child's Self-belief."

 

The workshop has several benefits. You will:

 

* Identify your child’s unique talents and skills

* Help your child create a vision board to visualize their future

* Teach your child to use goal-setting to gain discipline and self-belief.

* Help your child put together an accomplishment folder

* Spend time with your child in a fun, interactive and positive environment

Cost: $49

Time: 9am- 11am

Day: Every Saturday

To Register Call: (310) 874-5208.

CLASSES

Problems with raising children, such as rebelliousness, failing in school, bullying others, antagonism, strife can easily be done away with a new modality of parenting called "breakthrough parenting." Breakthrough Parenting helps children learn self-mastery. 

There are several benefits to attending Nicoline's breakthrough parenting class. You will learn to:

 * Create an environment where your child is supported in reaching their highest potential

* Teach your child to accept responsibility for their actions

* Acknowledge your child when they grow in their abilities

* How to grow your own self-esteem in order to help your child grow their own.

* How to balance busy life demands with spending time with your child

* Learn the developmental stages of life to better understand your child's behavior.

Cost: $49 for a total of $490 for 10 classes

Time: 12-2pm

Day: Every Saturday

To Register, call: (310) 874-5208

 

 

 

 

High Five... You Deserve a Break!

 

Your children have worked extremely hard at school. So this holiday season, give them a break from school work and show them some love! Have some hot chocolate together, play outside, bake cookies together, paint pictures and watch movies. They love your presents, but your presence means more to them.

Make a concerted and conscious effort to really enjoy this time away from the hustle and bustle of the school week. Use these couple of weeks to ASK questions and  LISTEN as your child tells you what's important to him or her. 

In response, tell them what you love about them. Encourage them to always strive to be their best, and that you believe that they are truly capable of achieving anything that they set their minds to because they have unique strengths and abilities that can take them anywhere!

Have a wonderful Christmas and a New Year filled with POSSIBILITIES!

 

THE ULTIMATE HANDBOOK ON HOW TO BREATHE EXCELLENCE INTO YOUR CHILD's LIFE

 

I'd like to thank one of my readers, Bernice Angoh Lakota for writing this unsolicited review of my book "A Teacher's Notes." Thank you Bernice, and thank you for buying the book! You're appreciated!

Before purchasing Mrs. Ambe's 'A Teacher's Notes, ' I had already been following her 'REVIVE' blog. Knowing all the great tips she shared on her blog, I was very impatient about reading her book. I tore the envelope frantically and immediately started reading through. The introduction alone left me spellbound: from working on a farm in rural Cameroon to teaching in higher educational institutions abroad, Mrs. Ambe's personal journey is a triumph that will send your heart on a quest to achieve the impossible for yourself and your children.

As a stay-at-home mom of two who has been homeschooling for four years, this book benefited me both as a parent and a teacher. Several stories like 'Tamales for sale' left me emotional, motivated and greatly encouraged. I have already printed out the 10 characteristics of champions and put up on my daughter's wall. I am very grateful for Mrs. Ambe's wealth of knowledge and her willingness to share it with the rest of us. I have never been more proud to be a parent and a teacher!

--------Bernice Angoh
Author & Founder, Forever Young Revolution
www.berniceangoh.com

CLICK HERE to buy your copy of the book!

 

VIDEO 2 - Provide A Learning Environment At Home

 

Hello All: Here's the 2nd video in the "Bridge the Gap Tour" video series. Pardon the quality. Your comments, ideas and contributions are most welcome. Please let us know what works well for your family.

          

My First Tour Stop: What Parents Wanted to Know

  

 

On Wednesday September 28, 2011, I gave the first speech of my "Bridge the Gap Tour" (BTGT) at JITA Christian Fellowship Church. The "Bridge the Gap Tour" is my initiative to visit local churches and community groups to share my ideas on how parents can prepare their children at home for excellence in school. These ideas are based on my experiences as a classroom teacher.

My interaction with the JITA Christian Fellowship Church congretation was an hour long. It was engaging and eye-opening for many parents who, for the most part, were unaware of many of the issues I raised about their children, the state test and education in America as a whole.

The parents also raised some pertinent issues that required me to think. Several parents wanted an answer to the following question:

If a parent has not prepared their child at a young age, how can they now prepare them when they get to middle and high school and start acting up?

The parents believed that many parents have the most challenge with their children in Middle school and High school, especially if they have not taught their children those elementary and early principles that prepare them for middle and high school.

Here was my response to their question:

1. The problem that parents have with their children is middle and high school is the very reason why it's important to start talking to your child early, and to strategically work with them at a young age, by instilling those values that will create positive attitudes about themselves, and about school. The great Civil Rights Leader, Frederick Douglas wrote "it is easier to raise strong children than to repair broken men!" So start early! www.growthmentality.com is full of many ideas.

2. If a parent has not instilled those values at a young age, then they'll have to work very hard to prepare their children to cope with the emotional and intellectual challenges of middle and high school. This will take immense effort and continued conversations with your child about three important things:

                    A - - Build their self-confidence: Teach your middle and high schooler to value themselves, to believe in themselves, to focus on themselves and to IGNORE popularity. Encourage them to be proud of who they are, what they have, or what they don't have. Encourage them to believe that their friends do not have anything that they don't have, and that they must look inside themselves for the answers. Encourage them to believe that within them lies the potential to achieve any goal. When children have self-confidence and feel good about themselves, they make better choices. So your job as a parent is to nurture their confidence by telling them how proud you are of them and that you believe in their potential to achieve great things.

                    B - - Paint a vision for their future: If your child does not know where he or she is going, they will travel in any direction (including that led by bad friends). So talk to your child about their future, about what they need to do now to prepare for a rewarding successful future. Talk to them about what they would like to do when they graduate high school or college, or what career field they would like to pursue. Encourage them to focus on their school work because it will prepare them to achieve the goals they have for their lives. Paint a vision for them, a vision that depicts a successful future that is the result of hardwork, determination and focus in school.

                    C - - Pay attention to the Teacher: Encourage your child to pay attention in class and listen attentively to what the teacher is saying. Children are frequently interrupted by their peers in the classroom, and this can impact learning in a major way. A teacher may not go back to reteach a concept that was initially taught and if your child was not listening, he or she would have missed that whole concept. That could really be damaging to them in the long run.

In conclusion, what parents of children ages 0-9 can learn from parents of children ages 10-17  is that your child may be "cute" now, but you must strategically prepare them for middle and high school, because that is a time they run into many emotional, behavioral and academic challenges.

Please leave your comments if you have additional ideas for parents of middle and high schoolers.

VIDEO 1 - Inculcate a Love of Learning at a Young Age

 

A few weeks ago, I launched the Bridge the Gap Tour, an initiative to visit community groups in my area to share my ideas on how we can improve the performance of our children on the State Test. For those who are unable to join me on the tour, I'm creating a video series of the ideas I'll be taking on the road with me.

Here's the first video. Please share your own ideas by leaving comments below. Thank you!

 

                      

Bridging the Gap in Test Scores

 

On January 19, 2010, I wrote an article on this blog which showed a bar graph representing one California school's Academic Performance Index (API) using test score results from the 2010 California State test. The bar graph (shown below) shows the test scores for all students, and for each of the major subgroups of students as reported by the State of California. In that article, I showed how African-American students perform below every subgroup in several schools across the State of California.

 In that article, I sought your opinion on what we could do as a community to bridge the educational gap. Your responses were many and varied, which to me was an indication that this issue is an important one for you as well.

As an educator and parent, I am very concerned about these numbers. I'm always looking for ways to improve the academic performance of our children, and since that blog post I've had time to reflect on numerous ideas and possible solutions. I rely heavily on my instincts as an educator and base my judgments on interactions with, and observations of, parents. These approaches have helped me identify what I believe are possible solutions to improving our children's performance from the home front.

Having identified these ideas, I will be implementing a new program called "Bridge the Gap Tour" during which I will share my ideas with parents on how they can prepare their children to compete in the global economy and bridge the educational gap. I will be visiting various community groups and churches to share these ideas with the goal of helping our children be prepared, and positioned, to compete with other subgroups, and do better.

In this "Bridge the Gap Tour" I will be using a lot of metaphors and real life stories to share the following ideas on what parents can do at home to prepare their children for academic success:

1. Inculcate a love a learning at a very early age. Teach your child that education and educational success are fundamental to a successful adult life.

2. Provide an environment at home that facilitates and encourages learning. For example, establish homework time, early and consistent bedtime, TV restrictions during school week, limiting noise, and so on.

3. Encourage your child to participate in competitions, at the class, school, District and National levels. For example, Spelling bees, Math bees, Science projects and others.

4. Stay very close to your child's performance in Math and Science. Check their work and check in with them frequently to ensure that they understand every science and math concept learned in class. The future of the world depends on technology, and employers will be looking for those who have skills in these areas.

5. Don't make poverty an excuse for academic failure or poor performance in school.

6. Encourage your child to value themselves, to believe in themselves, to focus on themselves and to IGNORE popularity.

 If your church or community group is interested in this program, please contact me.

 

	837	753	928	902	813	910	796	723	622
	All Students	African    American	Asian	Philipino	Hispanic	White	Socio economic Disad vantage	English Language Learners	Students with Disabilities

 

 

Don't Justify Lapses in School Day Routines!

As adults, we tend to justify breaking routines in order to reward ourselves for early successes. For example, we set a goal to exercise, do it for three days, then stop to reward ourselves with ice-cream on the fourth day. Don't allow this fate to befall your children!

Millions of children are returning to school this month to learn skills that will make them productive and successful in the future. The skills learned at home to facilitate the learning process in school are extremely crucial.

A new school year warrants new routines at home in order to prepare children to adjust to new curriculum challenges and a new teacher. It is therefore important to establish a routine at home that will make your child's life easy at school and that will facilitate their experience with new and more difficult material. Several parents have already established a school day routine, and are in full swing implementing it. Kudos to these parents!

Initially, it will be difficult for your child to adjust to these new routines at home especially after a long and fun-filled summer. Naturally, you may see some resistance from them. Your response to this resistance may be to allow your child to break the routine, either as a reward for early successes, or a lack of follow through on your part. What ever the reason may be, don't break the routine! Stick with the original plan.

In order to teach your child discipline, you must first start by being persistent and consistent in implementing what you set out to accomplish. Your children are keen observers. They know when you've broken a routine and the first time you break it, you will have no reason not to break it again. They will let you know that you did it before and you must do it again. What argument will you have then?

So what school day routines have you established?

- Early bed time?

- TV off on school nights?

- Homework time?

- Study time?

- Play time?

- Dinner time?

- Time for chores?

Remember that a routine is not a single goal. It is a process that will enable you and your child to accomplish a bigger goal for your child in the long run.

I wish you and your children a wonderful back-to-school experience!

 

Why did the Plastic Bottle Shrivel on the Plane?

 

Can your child help my child solve a science puzzle? Here's what happened.

I bought a bottle of water at the airport before getting on the plane. I drank some of the water but did not finish drinking it. I brought the rest with me on the plane, but fell asleep before I could finish drinking it. When the plane landed, I noticed that the water bottle had shriveled up. What happened to the bottle?

My children are not giving me clear and convincing responses. Can your child help mine?

Please do not help your child.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The water bottle before I got on the plane.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The water bottle after I got off the plane.

NAACP ACT-SO Competition

On the recommendation of my good friend Aliesh, I was privileged to be a judge at the 2011 NAACP ACT-SO National Competition, after a careful scrutiny of my background.

ACT-SO, which stands for the Afro-Academic, Cultural, Technological and Scientific Olympics, is a year long achievement program designed to recruit, stimulate, and encourage high academic and cultural achievement among African-American high school students.

ACT-SO includes 26 categories of competition in the sciences, humanities, business, and performing and visual arts. More than 260,000 young people have participated from the program since its inception.

It was extremely exciting and gratifying for me to chat with some of the most brilliant African-American young men and women, those on their way to Harvard, Morehouse, Stanford and other great US Universities.

If you have a child, or knows anyone, who is enrolled in the 9-12th grade, please encourage them to contact their local ACT-SO Chapter and pick up an application form. Students may enter up to THREE (3) categories. Information about these chapters are available online, or call the office and get the number of the contact person for your area. Here are the timelines for the ACT-SO Competition. Students have to compete at the local level and if successful, will qualify for the national competition.

The beauty of this competition is that it gives your child something to work towards, and keeps them focused. Not only does the project help them prepare for the competition, it also helps shape their thinking about possible college courses and career options. I STRONGLY encourage you to enrol your child and give them a good head-start for college!

Below are the categories in which your child can compete:

Sciences Biology/Microbiology Chemistry/Biochemistry Computer Science Earth and Space Sciences Engineering Mathematics Medicine and Health Physics	Performing Arts Dance Dramatics Music Instrumental Classical Music Instrumental Contemporary Music Vocal Classical Music Vocal Contemporary Oratory
Humanities Music Composition Original Essay Playwriting Poetry	Visual Arts Architecture Drawing Filmmaking Painting Photography Sculpture
Business Entrepreneurship

 

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have specific questions. Thanks!

 

First Anniversary & Birthday Celebration!

On July 13, 2010, I published the first issue of Growth Mentality. It was also my birthday!

Today, July 13, 2011, marks the first anniversary of Growth Mentality, and another birthday!

What a milestone!

When I started blogging, I had no goals. I just needed a place to throw ideas and develop my creative expression in written form. The more I blogged, the more I asked myself where I was going with all this writing. I did not want to write for the sake of writing, especially since my readership numbers left a lot to be desired.

The only people who read my blog posts were my facebook friends and my sister, Gerry!  I felt strongly about extending my content beyond just my friends. I had to set goals. A goal to reach the community and impact parents who otherwise would never read any of my blog posts. I set two goals.

Goal # 1 - To go from blog to book in one year!

Goal #2 - To establish a speaking career and take the message to the community.

I felt that it was important to speak to parents about an issue that is often ignored, which is strategically preparing their children at home to excel in school!

I feel blessed to have met both goals! I've sold more than 200 copies of my book, A Teacher's Notes. I have also given a few speeches. The biggest one yet will be to an audience of 350 educators in August. I'm looking forward to it!

As I mentioned above, if it were not for my facebook friends, I probably would have withered like a plant in the desert. My friends motivated and encouraged me in more ways than they would ever know.

I thank you all, friends! I won't mention names for fear of leaving someone out. But if you have ever clicked, commented, liked or forwarded my posts, I say thank you! If you have purchased a book from me, or recommended a friend to purchase a book from me, I say thank you! You have catapulted me to a place where failure doesn't exist.  My family and I owe much to you!

I don't blog as often as I used to because I'm always tweaking a speech, preparing to give one, or actually giving one. Life has become very busy.

My book launch was scheduled for July 16th, but I was forced to cancel it after learning that the only major freeway connecting Los Angeles to several surrounding cities would be closed this weekend. I won't fret. There's plenty of time to celebrate. Each given day is itself a cause for celebration. Thank you all immensely for extending yourselves and reaching out in support.

I wish you all mighty blessings in your own goals and plans. Be purposeful. Be strategic. Be laser focused. Be relentless. Be humble. ALL goals and dreams are possible...

Remember that I'm in your corner of the boxing ring...

To all of you, Cheers!

    

VIDEO: Ideas for the Summer!

                 

                                       

 

The video shares some ideas on what you can do with your children this summer so that they may retain some of the information learned at school. But before I do that, I want to encourage you to sit down with your children and establish a schedule of household chores and summer time activities. I find that when kids are involved in the process, they hold themselves more accountable.

Here are 5 things you can do to keep your children productive while having fun this summer:

 1. Engage them in arts and crafts activities. You may either purchase an arts and crafts kit that comes with instructions, or you can Google some activities and then visit an arts and crafts supply store to purchase the supplies for that activity.

 2. Take them on learning trips to the zoo, the science center, the museum, the aquarium. Children love a great adventure!

 3. Visit the library – and ask you child to pick a book in their area of interest. Something that they love. Ask them to read it and share it with the family in a public speaking format. Which means they will stand in front of you, introduce themselves, say what the title of the book is, the content and the closing and do a formal presentation. What a great way to build leadership and public speaking skills.

 4. If you have been following my blogs, you know how much I emphasize the value of math and science. Get your child engaged in any activity that keeps their knowledge of these subjects current, even if it’s for just once or twice a week. You could enroll them in a math and science program at your local community college, a tutoring session, a science camp, etc.

 5. Engage them in physical activity. Take them out to the park and hit a couple of tennis balls, enroll them in swimming lessons, soccer, volley ball, basketball?

 There are a ton of activities out there that your child will benefit from. Remember that summer time is fun time, but it is also a time when children can lose some of the mental edge they gained during the school year. So schedule activities that boost their mental alertness without making them feel like they’re in school.

 What you don’t want to do is let your child run around the house or the neighborhood, or watch TV all day with no schedule and no plans.  Have a great summer, everyone!

In the Land of Plenty, Why the Lack?

Below is a contribution I made to the Immigrant Magazine.

 

According to a latest report by www.newamericamedia.org, “nearly half the adults in Motown, Detroit are “functionally illiterate,” which means an estimated 200,000 residents are struggling every day to read, speak and write.”

As I read this report, I thought about my own motivations as an immigrant woman who came to this country with nothing except the desire to study and further my education. I could not help but ask myself one important question “why”? Why would anybody be illiterate in America? This is a country that offers opportunities to anyone who is willing to work hard and prosper. There are tons and tons of resources available to support anyone who wants to take advantage of them for their own self-improvement. It does not make sense that an entire city doesn’t have an understanding that education is important to the progress and growth of the individual and the community as a whole.

A second question I asked myself after reading this article was “who is responsible for this high illiteracy rate and what can be done about it?” Many advocates have blamed budget cuts for the educational crisis happening in several cities and schools. It appears that flooding schools with money has become the great alternative to teaching our kids that going to school and staying focused in school is fundamental to their success in life. This is a message that our children need to be raised with, the idea that education is a sine qua non for their success as adults. When children understand the value of education in their lives, they become more focused on achieving their educational goals.

It is quite unfortunate and ironical that what seems to be driving many immigrants to America (the freedom and the opportunities) may be the very things that are destroying some of America’s own citizens. People have become complacent, taking for granted that they live in a country of plenty and therefore don’t need to work as hard. It is my hope that the city officials in this city will come to the realization about how to fix this problem and usher in a new level of awareness that emphasizes the value of education as the foundation of a successful life, as many immigrants seem to have embraced.

Source:
http://newamericamedia.org/2011/05/analysis-illiteracy-in-detroit-a-national-shame.php

Nicoline Ambe is a published author and speaker. She is available for speaking engagements. Request Nicoline at:  www.nicolineambe.com

EXCITING News - My New Parenting Book!

Dear Friends:

I'm so excited to announce my NEW PARENTING BOOK! Below is a REVIEW that was first published by Dunia Magazine on May 18, 2011.

 

BOOK REVIEW

   "A Teacher's Notes: Helping Parents Prepare Their Children at Home for Success in School."

By Nicoline Ambe, Ph.D.

According to TWC’s “Connect a Million Minds Campaign” The United States of America is 29^th in Science and 35^th in math in the world. How is this possible? Do these other countries have more educational resources and tools to teach their students than America? I don’t believe so. I believe that America has the most sophisticated learning tools in the world; well-staffed libraries in every school, online learning programs and software, print-rich classroom environments, generous donors who supply a myriad of books and other learning resources, competent teachers who have mastered the standards and employ teaching techniques that cater to each student’s learning style, be it visual, kinesthetic or auditory. So why is America so far behind other countries in math and science?

Based on her experience and observations as a classroom teacher, Nicoline writes about the fundamental importance of preparing children at home – emotionally, mentally and physically – to learn and be successful in school. To this end, her book offers strategies that parents could use at home to prepare their children to do better in school. When children come to school having had a good night’s rest, or having been encouraged by their parents to value their education and stay focused in class, the result is a child who takes advantage of all the tools available for learning. Nicoline discusses a whole range of ideas and suggestions available to parents. Most importantly, inculcating a champion mentality in children provides the foundation for a winning attitude in school!

A copy of Nicoline’s book is available at www.nicolineambe.com.

Nicoline is available for speaking appearances.

 

Happy Mother's Day, Moms!

 

Here, these are for you!

 

 

Spring Break is a Time for Refueling

 

Schools are out in March and April for spring break. Your kids have been working really hard. Many of them are physically and mentally exhausted, and justifiably so. This is because, most of the content standards have been taught at this point, if not all. Kids have moved from relatively easy concepts at the beginning of the school year to now complex ideas. They have been challenged to think, they have been required to complete homework almost daily, they have worked hard to achieve proficiency on their skills tests.

So, parents, when we send your kids home to you during spring break, be cognizant of the fact that your little ones have accomplished a lot and they may be tired. Consider this as you plan spring break activities for them.

What a great time to bond with them, without the hustle and bustle of each school day! Engage them in constructive play. Plan a family picnic, learn to play a new sport together, take a short trip to visit a family or friend, or engage them in a fun creative activity.

Let them be kids, while you play along...

"Put it Back 'fo I knock Your Teeths Out"

 

I stepped out of the house to my local grocery store to purchase some white tea. After picking up my tea, I proceeded to the checkout stand to pay for it. Ahead of me at the checkout counter was a mom with her 6 year old son who was sitting in the cart.

As she was mounting the groceries on the belt, the little boy stood up on the cart and reached for some candy on the shelf next to the checkout stand. As he tried to add the candy to the groceries on the belt, the mom yelled out "put it back 'fo I knock your teeths out." (Sic)

After uttering those words, she looked at me. Then,  scrambling for words in my head, I asked "how old is he?." "Six" she responded.  "They are really curious at this age," I added, to which I got no response. I looked at the little guy and noticed he already had two front teeth out. I felt really bad for the kid.

As he curled to sit back down in submission, I thought to myself "in what instance could this ever constitute a good response to a child?" Children are entitled to intelligent responses from their parents and other adults. They need to be told in a reasonable way why a certain decision is good or not good for them.

An alternative response to this child could have been:

1. We can't afford that right now, but we'll get it next time

2. That's not healthy for you because it causes cavities, etc

In the classroom setting, children who are constantly shut down or intimidated in this way at home lack critical thinking, reasoning and analytical skills. They are not accustomed to hearing logical, reasonable responses to problems and questions and are therefore unable to give it themselves. They are also not accustomed to speaking and expressing themselves in a constructive conversational context and therefore cannot reproduce it. Like adults, children also benefit from effective communication. Take a moment to give a reasonable response to your child.

 

Medicating Children

 

An increasing number of children are being medicated to treat conditions like, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety, depression, and many more.

I am reminded of one 8 year old boy in the second grade who was on 4 different medications - Ritalin to treat ADHD behaviors, Albuteral  to treat Asthma, Imipramine to treat anti-depression and bed-wetting, and Ativan often used to treat anxiety.  He took his medications in the morning, at lunch at school, and at home before bedtime.

As you can imagine, the side effects of these medications were many. They made him drowsy, he often complained of stomach ache and frequently suffered from general irritability. He often talked about being sad and lonely. In my position as a teacher, when a parent notifies me that their child is diagnosed with ADHD, I have to accept the diagnosis as a medical condition and target instructional strategies that meet the student's unique needs. I also focus on behavior modification strategies that provide the student with a structure and a routine.

On a personal level though, I'm not sure that these conditions cannot be treated without medication. I've met several parents who were adamant against giving medications to their children, but whose children matured at their own pace and time. Some children are born naturally active and hyper-active and there are things that a  parent can do to keep them calm until they are mature enough to understand their actions.

Parents could try these at home:

1. Keep sugar consumption to a minimum, and feed your child healthy fruits and vegetables. Allow your child to get plenty of exercise so they can release some of that energy. Alternatively, try some calming workouts like yoga.

2. Avoid distractions and sensory overload, like loud TV or loud music.

3. Provide a structured environment that helps your child understand the sequence of activities, from homework time to dinner time to bedtime, etc. Enforce these routines daily, consistently. key.

4. Be a good example of how to handle challenges and problems with poise and ease. Your child feeds off of your energy level. Angry and loud responses to problems with your child and others will only frazzle your child and aggravate the behavior. Your own emotional stability is crucial here.

5. Assign your child tasks, and follow-through to make sure that those tasks are accomplished.

Dealing with a hyperactive child is not easy. It takes a lot of sacrifice and effort, but consistency in doing the right activities will ultimately pay off. A child will ultimately be where he or she needs to be in their own due time. Be patient.

Family Dynamics!

 

I once walked in on a playground conversation between 2 sisters and another student as they tried to explain their relationship to the student. I joined the conversation...

Zena and Dora lived together with Zena's mom (Rosa) and Dora's dad (Paul). Rosa and Paul lived together but were unmarried, and expecting their first child together.  Zena's dad was remarried to Zena's step mom and have two children of their own. Dora's mom has a boyfriend.

It was obvious from the conversation that Zena and Dora had some rivalry. They used words like "your dad did that" or "It was your mom who did that." There was no obvious "family unity" or sense of "family pride."

Stratified families have become prevalent. Children are caught in complex relationship webs that in many cases affect their sense of personal identity and familial bonding. It has triggered a whole range of learning problems with students who struggle to reconcile who they are with a desire to excel in school. These tangled relationship webs definitely confuse kids about who they are as individuals.

Of course, these are adult decisions, but knowing that they affect your child in very real ways, it's important to do two things:

1. Consider your child's wellbeing and sense of identity when making these relationship decisions

2. If the decision has to be made, be sure to instill a strong sense of family pride and bonding that gives your child a confidence in their identity, and in who they are as a person.

I'm reminded of a fun song I heard a while ago. Watch below and find the lyrics here.

                         

 

 

Be Vigilant!

Statistics show that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are molested by the time they become adults.  Even worse, 1 in 7 reported sexual assault victims is under the age of 6!

Last Sunday evening, I watched "To Catch a Predator" in horror. It showed how men after men paraded a house in search of teenage boys and girls between the ages of 12 and 14. I saw a  Rabbi, then a teacher, then a married man holding his 3 year old son and looking to meet a 12 year old boy, then another man with a rope and duct tape, and the list goes on. These are average-looking people we  deal with everyday, albeit wolves in sheep's clothing.

In my years of teaching, I have witnessed first hand the debilitating and horrific effects of child molestation. Many of these kids are emotionally disturbed.

Parents must take responsibility for protecting their children from these predators. Keep a very close watch on your child. Don't trust anyone with your child. Don't leave your child alone with just anyone. 80% of children are molested by people they know - a friend, family member, neighbor. There are also predators who befriend you for the purpose of molesting your children. If you are a single mom or  dad, don't leave your child alone with your partner. Trust nobody. It's better to err on the side of your child, than expose them to danger.

Children are very vulnerable and need our protection. We must sacrifice our own interests to protect our kids. Be vigilant!

 

Speak Up!

I ran into a parent who was picking up her child from school.  We were acquaintances, having met at one of the PTA meetings at school.

During our conversation, she began complaining about her daughter's  teacher, stating that her child is being unfairly treated because her grades keep getting worse and worse. I asked if she had spoken to the teacher about her concerns,  and to find out why her daughter is not doing well in this class.  She stated that she had not.

I asked what it is about her daughter's  teacher that she does not like. Her response was "about ten other parents I know are also complaining about this teacher."

I was just as concerned about her complaints about the teacher as I was the fact that these complaints were made in front of her daughter. I felt that it poisoned her child's mind to hear this said about her teacher, especially when nothing has been done to rectify the problem.

I told her to talk to the teacher and express her dissatisfaction about her child's performance, and to find out what can be done to fix this problem and improve her performance. If the teacher cannot help, she  should schedule an appointment to meet with the principal and discuss other options.

One thing parents should know is that teachers and administrators are always very willing to help out with a problem, if they know what the problem is.  Schools are always on the child's side and really take an interest in seeing that their students perform well. If you have concerns about your child not doing well, please speak up and tell the teacher or the principal, instead of complaining with other parents behind the teacher's back. This is your child. This is about your child. Your goal is to solve your specific child's problem so that she can improve. You are well within your parental rights to speak up about things you don't like and to seek solutions for those things.

Motivating an Unmotivated Child

 

Every parent's goal is to see their child do well in school, put forth their best effort, develop the skills and knowledge to be successful, and independently take initiative for their school work.

Unfortunately, your child may not be motivated to do any of these things.  All they may see is everything that is wrong with school. They may constantly say things like, school is hard, my friends don't like me, I hate math, too much homework, I don't want to go to school, my stomach hurts, and so on.  When a child complains about school, this is a sure sign that he or she is not motivated to learn.

It is possible to turn things around and motivate  your child to succeed. Here are 5 ways:

1. Read to your child: Even the most unmotivated child loves being read to. They love characters in a story, as well as the development of a story's plot. Let your child pick a book of their choice, or select a book with fun characters, then read with intonation and expression to make it exciting and raise the child's level of curiousity. 20 minutes a day of curling up to read a book with mom or dad will make a huge difference in your child's attitude towards school.

2. Establish a structure: There is a specific type of structure and routine that nurtures academic success. Create a weeknight schedule that determines the flow of activities after school, from dinner to homework to chores to play to bedtime. Homework time is quiet time where all distractions are taken away so that the child can focus on their work.

3. Be enthusiastic about learning: Use a positive tone to talk to your child about school, the importance of school, and the rewards that come from learning new things. Avoid negative questioning about other kids and the teacher. These only help to dampen the child's mood and instill negative feelings in them. When you emphsize the value of school and create a learning atmosphere around your home, your child will pick up on that.

4. Celebrate even small successes: Make success a big deal and highlight every successful growth.  A completed homework, an improvement from C grade to B grade, a good phone call from the teacher, etc are all reasons to stop and celebrate. Treat your child to a small reward and tell them that you're proud of them. In the same breath, encourage them to continue to get better in the given area. Acknowledging their successes will give any child a self-confidence boost.

5. Failure is part of the growth process: Encourage your child to understand that failure is not the be all and end all. It is part of the learning process. It is an opportunity for them to learn and grow from their mistakes.

With so many distractions in society today, these positive and constructive practices will motivate your child to focus on what is really important - school.

Success in Math Starts in Kindergarten

 

The best thing you can do to help your child with math is to stay on top of the curriculum from the very beginning - Wisegeek

Math is a progressive subject with related concepts. A child cannot solve division if they have not mastered multiplication and regrouping (borrowing). This means that as soon as a child enters kindergarten it is time to intervene to make sure that they understand each concept.

 

Many children struggle with math from the very beginning, and because math is a progressive subject based on early fundamentals, math gets harder for some kids every school year. If your child is struggling with math, there are many ways to help him, and the sooner you intervene, the better.

Many parents don’t realize their child is having trouble with math until she reaches the secondary grades of elementary school, when concepts beyond the addition and subtraction of numbers 1 through 10 are introduced. If your child is beyond the third grade and is struggling with math, you might need to go back to the basics to see where he got lost. Did he somehow misunderstand or never grasp the concept of carrying or borrowing in addition and subtraction? Try to recall if you noticed a swift or gradual decline in your child's math grades and see if you can pinpoint where the difficulty started.

If your child has done well in math up to a point, but is struggling with a new concept, such as division or algebra, talk to her teacher. Many parents who try to help their children with math homework only confuse matters more for their child. Methods of teaching math are constantly evolving, and while you may be able to find the answers to your child’s math homework, you might not be capable of explaining it the way her teacher is teaching it. You must work with the teacher to help your child get a solid grasp.

If helping your child in math involves asking the teacher to work with him after class or hiring a student tutor, then make the arrangements. Kids often respond better to assistance from someone other than their parents. If tutoring or staying after school is not an option, then you must sit down and examine your child’s curriculum so that you can explain it accordingly. Review both new and old concepts with your child on a regular basis and always check his homework.

The best thing you can do to help your child with math is to stay on top of the curriculum from the very beginning. As soon as your child has been introduced to addition and subtraction, use flash cards, interactive software, and any other means of practice you can think of. As new concepts such as multiplication and division are added, practice those in addition to previous concepts. Math is a progressive study, and a solid understanding of the subject requires building one concept on top of another.

In the event that your child is failing math and the school cannot help her, it may be time to consider drastic options. Private instruction or tutoring is one option. Though it can be expensive, there may be means to offset the cost, and it will be well worth it if it helps your child and prevents her from having to repeat a grade. In some cases, repeating a grade or switching schools may be the only option. The most important thing is making sure your child can grasp the basic concepts of math that will apply to life skills such as paying bills, managing a budget, and other necessary math-related skills.

In addition to this piece, wisegeek has a wealth of resources to help kids in Math and other subjects. Stop by there to see what your child may need.

Avoid Exorbitant Student Loan Debt

 

                            

It's never too early to prepare your child to escape enormous student loans. In fact, the further ahead you plan, the better prepared you and your child will be in dealing with student loans. The cost of college in the U.S. is increasing at an alarming rate. Each year, tuition costs go substantially up while the employment situation deteriorates.  Across the U.S., students are graduating with enormous debt with menial or no jobs waiting for them.

Certainly, and contrary to increasing prevalent belief, receiving a college degree is still enormously beneficial. However, going to college doesn't mean going to college for the sake of going to college. A college degree must be pursued in an intelligent, frugal way.

Here are some ways parents could help their children escape exorbitant student loan debt:

1. Pursue a career that pays: Help place your child on a career path that will pay off in the long run.  Ensure that whatever career your child anticipates embarking upon when he or she graduates should be one that justifies the cost. Certain careers justify student loan costs because of the likelihood of finding employment and paying them off in less than ten years.  For instance, careers like pharmacy/pharmacy tech, computer software and programming, medical careers such as physician's assistant, doctors, surgeons, certain science careers, etc have great potential. Some of these careers also have loan forgiveness programs to eliminate the debt, as with teaching. Do your research.

2. Save for College: Paying out of pocket is an option for parents who have available, disposable funds. Research the yearly cost of college/university tuition in the college that your child could attend. Begin putting away funds to meet the target tuition cost in the university. Alternatively, for parents with limited funds, enrolling your child in a good public, charter or magnet school will enable you to save money for higher education, when they really need it.

3. Report Cards: How does your child's report card look like? From elementary school through high school, stay very close to your child's school work to ensure that they maintain excellent grades to earn a scholarship or grant. When they are ready to apply for grants and scholarships, visit their high school career counselor and the Financial Aid Office of the intended college or university. Each school usually has information on grants that are available upon request. You can also search the internet for scholarships and grants on sites like Scholarships.com and FastWeb.

4. Community College: A great alternative to high university cost is to start out in a community college. Several cities and towns have two-year community colleges where students can take basic courses at less than the cost of a four-year university. The only nuance is to make sure that the community college credits will transfer to a university program of study.

5. Self-employment: If your child has grit, determination and an entrepreneurial spirit, self-employment may be a good alternative to college. He or she could start and run their own business. Perhaps you have a successful family business that your child could help build. It's widely known that several successful entrepreneurs like Mary Kay Ash, Bill Gates and Walt Disney became successful without a college degree. Here's a list of the top 100 entrepreneurs who made it without a college degree.  Perhaps your child has a unique skill that could turn him or her into a teen millionaire. While these stories could serve as inspiration, it is important to note that others' successes are not your successes.

These methods may, or may not work for everyone, but the most important lesson in avoiding student loan debt for your child is to plan ahead and be prepared.